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Dear Squirrel,

Where the heck did you go?

Sincerely,

Your Higher Conscience

 

Dear My Higher Conscience,

I’m in Mexico, ignoring everything. Thanks for asking! I didn’t know I had a higher conscience. How did you find me?

Want to know something great about Mexico? They speak Spanish here! Want to know something great about Spanish? It doesn’t really have a word like procrastination. Well kinda. They have dilación, which means delay, but it’s not quite the same thing. Dilación is also the same word for dilation, like what my eyes do when I get jazzed up about something, like my new buddy Musgo here who lives in the terrace drain and comes out daily to sunbathe and taunt me.

Musgo.

Musgo.

To dilate also more generally means “to expand; to become wider and larger.” By this extension, I could say that here in Mexico I’ve been procrastinating, or I could say I’ve been becoming wider and larger.

Also, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’m a cat. Have you ever met a cat that gave a damn about deadlines or blogging consistently? I didn’t think so.

When I feel moved to do something, I do it. If I want to sit in a spot I haven’t tried sitting in before on the floor, just off-center, I will do so. If I want to meow, nibble your arm, and act like I haven’t just been fed even though there is fresh food in my bowl that I just ate half of and then forgot about, just to project my own short-term memory onto you and make you question yourself, I will do that, too.

In other words, if I have something to say, I will say it. If not, I’m not going to try to compete with all the millions of things competing for your attention on the internet for no good reason.

By the way, did you just read a whole blog post by some random cat in Mexico? Shouldn’t you be doing something more productive? LOL, JK. I’m more than happy to become wider and larger with you anytime.

Yours,

Signatures2 (4)

P.S. If you click on the IndieBound logo below to buy books, I will get a few pennies to support my eating habit, and thus continue to feign a mild effort at self-sufficiency. (And the good people of the independent bookstores who work much harder than I do will get something out of the deal, too.)

Shop Indie Bookstores

 

Ask Squirrel is an advice column on life, love, and literature. Ask me anything. Get honest advice from an observant cat unrestrained by human social conventions. I like to think outside of boxes. I also like to think inside of boxes. And half-in, half-out of boxes. Also while chewing on the corners of boxes. And rubbing my face against box flaps. I’m sorry, what were you saying?

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